| Natalie MacLees | http://www.nataliemac.com |
| natalie@nataliemac.com | © 2002 |
Written October 2002
"Pardon me while I have a strange interlude."~Groucho Marx
You know those mornings when you wake up and just feel like doing something outrageous, like wearing plaids and stripes together or tearing the tags off your mattress? What would happen if you were to plan your vacation on one of those days? Well, you might find yourself pretty far off the beaten path and in some pretty strange territory.
For instance, you might find yourself visiting the annual Summer Redneck Games in East Dublin, Georgia. Events in the games include Watermelon-Seed Spitting, Bobbing for Pigs' Feet (yes, real ones!), the Bug-Zapper Spitball Competition, the Hubcap Hurl, the Dumpster Dive, the Armpit Serenade, and the Mud Pit Belly Flop. What do you win for your efforts in these events? A beer-can trophy, of course.
If you like wandering and traveling, you might be tempted to check out the Hobo Convention, held in Britt, Iowa every year since 1900. The hobos and their fans are pointedly clear on one point: a hobo is not a bum or a tramp. Hobos are migrant workers who simply prefer a capricious lifestyle. They do not beg for handouts and are always willing to work for what they need.
While there were believed to have been hundreds of thousands of hobos at one time in American history, the count today is likely to be only in the hundreds. They are lured by the freedom that comes with short-term work commitments, the opportunity to travel, the promise of adventure and the camaraderie shared by those on the road. At the convention, the hobo lifestyle is celebrated with the coronation of a Hobo King and Queen, a craft and flea market, a parade, a gospel concert, mulligan stew and storytelling.
And I feel like I have to mention Oatman, AZ at least once more. (Remember, the place with the burros?) As if the town weren't eccentric enough, they also hold the annual Bed Races. Teams of five people (one in the bed, and four pushing), push the bed through a figure-eight course. Halfway through, they have to stop, change the bedclothes and exchange pajamas with their team members. And in case you were ever wondering "How hot does it get in the desert in July?" you get a chance to find out at the sidewalk egg fry. Prizes are given for the best-looking and best-tasting eggs.
Speaking of eggs, how about an omelet? I've found the best recipe: Combine 5,000 eggs with 50 pounds of onions, 2 gallons of parsley, and 61/2 gallons of milk. Fry it up in 52 pounds of butter, then season with 3 boxes of salt, 2 boxes of pepper and Tabasco to taste. If you don't have a frying pan large enough, pay a visit to the Giant Omelet Celebration in Abbeville, Louisiana.
If you prefer potatoes, you can visit the Potato Days Festival in Clark, South Dakota. Events include mashed potato wrestling, a potato parade and potato sculptures.
If you're in the mood for a more active competition, why not try out the World Pillow Fighting Championship in Kenwood, California? This is no ordinary pillow fight. Contestants sit astride a greased pole over a pit of mud, armed with feather pillows. First one to knock an opponent into the mud below wins. To qualify to enter the contest, you must be over 14, leave your maturity outside the arena and be willing to fall down, get muddy and be laughed at.
Or, you could put your hard-earned office skills to the test at the Office Olympics in Shreveport, Louisiana. Events include the Human Post-It Note, Toss the Boss, the Pencil Push, the Scissors Slide, the Water Break Relay and the Office Chair Roll-off.
Maybe none of this appeals to you and instead you'd like to celebrate, well, nothing. If so, you'll want to visit Telluride, Colorado to not participate in the Nothing Festival, in which the local residents celebrate the peace and quiet of doing absolutely nothing. They hang a blank banner over Main Street and sell commemorative T-shirts. There's even a nothing parade held nowhere and watched by no one. If you don't believe me, visit the Web site, where they thank you for not participating.